Well it has taken me 27 years. But I have figured one thing out I think, what ever you do it will never be good enough for the one that you are doing it for. Now to elaborate a little on that, I have drawn way form most every one family friends and so on. Why you may ask no I am not depressed just starting to open my eyes I guess. I try and yes I mean in life even know all I see around is entrapment may it be bills or rent or car up keep. They all keep you trapped in some way. Now I know family is family and should be loved unconditionally well fine I love you I just don’t rely want to talk. I have not wanted to talk to family much I just don’t feel up to the conversation any more. I don’t feel like talking about this or that. All I want right now is well I don’t have a fucking clue some kind of solace in life I guess; now I just need to find were they sell that shit. I asked at the store to day and got well I am not sure? So plan B

Now you may ask what plan B is well your guess is as good as mine. I have not even started thinking about plan B so I guess there is not one. Well if I have learned one thing that thing would be I over all as a person will never feel I am good enough for that task at hand so I must deal with it. So this-this is the way in which I deal for now.

For all throes about to ask if I need to talk no that is the reason I did not leave the comments up on this post. I am good just tired of the waves of the sea which have become my life, I need calm seas and I don’t see were they are. So I am plotting a course to the open seas to find a calm place to call my own.

This blog has become a place were I can put down thoughts and things rambling in my head. To give all the reads the inside look of my mind. Not to hurt any one or to make them feel differently when they look at me. And as the same as all the other blogs which I have placed disclaimers up the wazue they all apply to this and ever blog enough said……